Now that we're coming on a month since I've posted something substantial...I've been inspired by the recent flurry of postings by various friends. Something about the holidays brings back fond memories. So, with the holidays and with all my friends posting about childhood memories, I've been inspired.

This is one of my favorite stories:

I've known Elaine since I was in seventh grade. She was in eighth grade. We were in youth group together. Elaine was cool. And for some reason, we had drama. Well, if you grew up in our youth group, there was always drama - especially if you were a girl. Our youth group was notorious for our drama.

I just have to say that Sam Yang from Ichthus has the right idea: "No dating within the fellowship. If you break up, someone's gonna have to leave the church." Ok, so it's not as severe as that, but he's on the right track.

So, back to Elaine. Like I said, we had drama. I liked the guy she was going out with at the time. She felt threatened by me. Or something like that. My memory fails me. Basically, we really did not like each other all through high school. Yet, we had gotten really good at putting on a happy face for everyone else. But, there was a lot of manipulation and politicking going on. We were both constantly trying to lobby the guys into alliance with us. It was basically a covert-op all out war. I don't know if that makes sense.

Elaine graduated from high school and then went on to Cal. Not surprisingly, we didn't keep in touch her freshman year. I graduated the following year. I ended up going to Cal. I ended up living in Freeborn (Unit 1!). The ironic thing was, Elaine was also living in Freeborn. I had come to Cal hoping to walk away (or rather, run away) from all the drama of high school. (funny how all my drama was at church and not at school). But, God's a funny guy. He had other plans in store for me. I committed to going to Campus Crusade pretty early on freshman year. So, I was involved in the Unit 1 cell group. And guess what? Elaine was also involved in Crusade. Because she lived in Unit 1, she was in the same small group.

So, it was back to putting on a happy face for everyone. Everyone at Crusade assumed that Elaine and I were old friends since we'd grown up together. Ha. Hardly. And then one day second semester freshman year, Elaine called me up. We went out and talked. Basically both asking one another for forgiveness and apologizing for how we had hurt each other all those years. We both left the conversation feeling like we had some kind of resolution. But, our hearts, especially mine, hadn't changed. I hadn't really forgiven her yet and I hadn't really been willing to ask for forgiveness yet.

Early my sophomore year, Elaine and I got together again. We didn't really talk about our friendship, but Elaine chose to share her heart with me. She came to me to ask me to pray with and for her. It was then that we realized that we needed one another. God had made us very similar in our faiths and in being emotional. We approached God in similar manners; we had similar hang-ups about God. And He wanted us to encourage one another, to walk together.

It's funny how the Elaine I know now isn't the same person that I knew in high school. Or maybe I didn't know her at all. Today, she is one of my dearest friends. We don't get to talk that often, but when we do, we always kinda "explode" on each other. We get to pour out our hearts and souls and pray in earnest that God would reign over our lives.

This is the story I tell people when they have relationships that have been broken and have yet to be reconciled. God is a God of reconciliation. That's His business; it's what He does best. That was the purpose of the cross - to reconcile us to Him. He desires reconciliation among the body more than we could even imagine. Yet, He also mends wounds in His time. As much as Elaine and I wanted reconciliation my freshman year, it was not the time. It's freeing to know that God is more faithful to my relationships than I am. Ha. If it were all about me being faithful to my friends, I wouldn't have any.

I haven't told this story in a while. It's a good reminder to me that God loves and loves deeply. That God is tender and sensitive and that He is the God who sees.

(My post about heroes will come later)

I had a tube of Saltine crackers on my desk. I distinctly remember taking them out of my food stockpile drawer and putting them on my desk yesterday afternoon. Today, they're gone. I'm not upset. I'm just in shock. How weird.

Somebody stole my crackers.

Strange.

There is a "real" update in the works...Hopefully, it will materialize someday (my post, that is. or my crackers)

Congratulations, Mary, on the new job!! You should buy me dinner. That is my headhunting fee. Oh wait, you bought me lunch at Costco today.

Happy birthday, Jennifer!

Happy birthday on Monday to Jessica. I love you. You rock. *MWA* *MWA* *MWA* haha..and now you're probably running away from me.

Ok, there are my shout outs. I will try not to do these too often.

I am lame. I am so very sinful. I am wretched. Basically, I suck.

What a huge reminder of my desparation for God's grace and mercy. Man.

Forgiving. Graceful (full of grace..Gracious?). Patient. Abounding in Love. What God is. What I am not.

Stupid me.

One thing that I really miss about college life is just being with people. I miss having friends with whom I share the day-in day-out kind of stuff. All my girls moved home to the South Bay. We hung out on Saturday night. All the girls and Dean (such a baller..ha). It was nice just to be together. We didn't even really have to talk; I just treasured being in their company.

I had some people over last night for dinner too. That was really nice. I wasn't too big of a conversationalist last night, but it was nice just being with friends. Like the two guys that were over kept talking about sports. At one point, one of them says, "I think we're boring ev." To which I replied "huh?" But, I wasn't bored. I just really enjoyed having them there.

I miss opening my house up to people to just be together. I long to have people over to eat with, sit around, watch tv, and pretty much just be together. I've had people over lately, but more for appointment type stuff or to talk about stuff. We used to have people over every day. I miss being able to ask people "hey, is that the sweater you just bought?" Well, not that specifically, just stuff like that. But, maybe this is what post-college life is like. It's a lot quieter. I know we won't be able to fill our place with activity all the time, and I don't want to.

Olivia and I were talking the other day about how different we are. She was saying that she feels like she's only really building into friendship when they sit down and have heart to hearts. I realized, deep conversations are nice, but I'm more interested in the daily stuff. I like to spend time with people. I miss calling up random Berkeley people to go grocery shopping or to Costco together. Yes, deep conversations are still important, but I just enjoy being with people. I'm learning how other people, like Olivia, don't really see building into the daily stuff as a high priority. O and I have known each other since 7th grade. And now, we're re-learning how to relate to one another. It was very exciting when we had these epiphanies.

SN: epiphany is one of my favorite words.

I'm gonna try to open up my place more again. So, if any of you ever want to escape your place, you're free to come over. You can come over, eat my food, watch my TV, almost anything you want. In the words of Alinna and Mary, "Couches are meant to be slept on; food is meant to be eaten; TV is meant to be watched. So, come on over." Anytime..almost. Call first =).

Brach's makes 'N Sync gummy candies. I got a pack of them in a care package today. On the bag it says " 'N Sync" in really large letters. Randomly dispersed throughout are "Chris," "Lance," "JC," "Joey," and "Justin." It also says "It's Gonna Be Me" and "Bye, Bye, Bye." I've now eaten a yellow gummy shaped like a boombox and a red heart that says "JC" on it. I'm amused.