"Always remember that some friends were meant to be a part of your life for only a short period of time. Don't be afraid to let go of some friends, and don't feel the need to find replacements for them. Each new friend will bring something unique to them into your life." - 1 of many words of wisdom from Emily Chen to Bev.

College is a weird place. It's this warped alternate universe. Friendships in college are unlike the friends that you make anywhere else. When you're in school, you can see your friends whenever you please. You can freely disregard many things in order to spend time with your friends - sleep, studying, class. Friendships develop with relative ease and speed in school. The commonalities of being students, going to the same school, needing to struggle with finals, midterms, deadlines, and problem sets propel friendships forward at a remarkable pace. Having common activities, such as studying (or pretending to study), facilitates spending time with one another. The intensity of events and problems in college seems much greater than it was in high school and than it is after school. Your friends take the place of family while you're away at school.

But then, graduation comes. And everyone parts ways. And the sad thing about it all, is that everyone is optimistic that they will keep in touch. I know I naively thought that I could maintain some very close friendships after college. Some have continued to develop and grow stronger. But, there have been others that have slowly faded with the passing of time. Phone calls and dinner appointments become more rare.

I know there was one friend in particular whose friendship meant a lot to me. I spent significant levels of energy and effort in trying to maintain the friendship. After a while, it felt like when we talked, we had these awkward "update" conversations - we went through a list of, what could have easily been prescripted, questions. "How are you doing? How's work? How's family? Love interests?" It was like hearing an audio newsletter. It was not a conversation. Amd furthermore, it hardly resembled a friendship.

I don't think I've really accepted the fact that friendships may come and go. I was fortunate. When I came to Cal, almost all of my close friends in high school came too. Although we all were involved in different activities, different fellowships, different lifestyles, it was easy to maintain contact. But, now, I've seen friendships that meant so much to me in college fade into a distant memory. There have been times when I've tried to catch up with friends from school, and I realized that I no longer know them. I am no longer perceptive of thee struggles and the realities that they face daily. It seems so counterintuitive to me. How could something that was once so important to me, something that I poured so much of my heart into, no longer be a part of my life? Maybe it's not so much that this notion is unfathomable. But, I think my difficulty is that there is no distinct point in time when the friendship goes from being something in the present to something of the past. If we all just said a real "goodbye" to some of our friends after college, it wouldn't be so hard to understand.