If I could turn back time….(yes, the Cher song).

I’m sorry to say that the song is stuck in my head.

But let’s take a journey down memory lane.

One month ago: I watched Thomas and Esther get married with great hurrah! I spent the night crying because I missed my mom so very very much.

Two months ago: I was recovering from the greatest vacation ever to Hawaii with some of my favorite friends and trying to get adjusted to a new work place, a new commute, new coworkers, and the single life.

Three months ago: I was working hard at doing absolutely nothing for the last 2 weeks before my job started. Would wake up at 10am everyday, watch Dawson’s Creek and wait for friends to get off of work. Making new friends like Mel and Esther.

Six months ago: I was starting my 5th and final term at Hopkins. I was frantically trying to hammer down my thesis (aka Capstone), desperately trying to get my advisor to call me back. I presented my Capstone and submitted it without much fanfare. You would think that after your thesis presentation there should be balloons and streamers. Quite anti-climactic.

One year ago: I was living in Baltimore, exhausted from having flown back and forth across the country nearly 6 times in 2 months. Struggling to comprehend loss, grief, sadness, and how it is that life keeps moving.

Two years ago: I was working at a frantic pace, being a disease cowboy* at the State, protecting us all from West Nile! Haha. If only it were so noble. Things were really stable back then. Dating Jason, living in Oakland, going to church, driving my mom to chemo every week. Not really the happiest time of my life, though.

Five years ago: I was living in Royston #306, the apartment that essentially was always open to everyone. Senior year in college, ready to be done. Hanging out a lot with HMAP folks, sad that most of my friends had graduated. Studying for “sex class”** with Mary and Hideyo (who would 5 years later become my roommate and my best friend’s fiancée, respectively). Recuperating over a lost friendship (which time truly has restored).

Ten years ago: Worrying about who liked who in high school. Dealing with all the drama that was HOC. Building great friendships at school with the likes of BASIC PIG, the girls who are still my best friends today.

Character growth is a funny thing. It happens so subtly. Hard to see the forest through the trees, right? But it’s really amazing to watch others grow over time, especially kids because their growth is especially accelerated. For even myself, however, time does a lot. A lot of things come full circle, a lot of unexpected things happen, a lot of healing happens. Surprising adventures (who would’ve thought I would live in Baltimore?!)

Back to the future
My coworkers and I did a fun activity yesterday (yes, we’re quite a self-directed bunch). We were asked to list our work goals, our professional goals, incentives that help us achieve, and our 10-year goals.

So, here’s my ten-year goal:
To be an infectious disease doctor working for state or local public health managing programs in a specific disease area, practicing clinical medicine every now and then. Married, family. Hanging out with good people. Still having fun.

Footnotes
*Disease Cowboy: the new title that we, epidemiologists, have given ourselves. This involves us wearing cowboy hats, riding ponies, and carrying guns.

**Sex class: ok, gutter brain. We learned about the biology of reproduction. Even though our professor was a very dirty old man who liked to show us videos of sex-change operations. Blech. I’m giving myself the heebeejeebees.