**warning Dawson's Creek series finale spoilers***



"The simple act of me loving you is enough for me. so you're off the hook" - Pacey Witter

Pacey's the man. I'm glad that Joey ended up with Pacey. In the end, Pacey was a bigger man than Dawson.

Did anyone tape the finale? I didn't. I want to watch it again.

I have to give the writers and all credit. It was a good finale. I love how they even made fun of themselves and their viewership at the beginning. "Joey why are you watching that? I can't believe every Wednesday at 8pm you sit down to watch 'The Creek.' It's a weekly portal into the world of teen angst. And you've developed a personal attachment to them all."

Oh, of course, they spouted all their profound life statements in classic Dawson's Creek fashion. "Dreams come true, Dawson, not free."

I'm glad they chose to make a point at the end about the difference between reality and television. So, for those of you that don't know, in the series finale, Dawson (5 years in the future) is the executive producer of "The Creek," a weekly teen soap opera that basically recounts Dawson's life (especially the Joey-Pacey Joey-Dawson Dawson-Pacey headache). But, alas, when the show finally comes to a close, Dawson struggles with understanding reality versus the fiction he writes. Finally,Dawson writes in "The Creek" that the "Joey" character ends up with the "Dawson" character (although Joey chooses Pacey in the end). Granted, what is considered reality on the show is still fiction to the viewer. But, it's just a good reminder to the viewership that Dawson's Creek is NOT reality. (well, duh...but I get sucked in sometimes!)

So, after 1 last hoorah, another show from my high school/college years has come to an end.

Yay! the Practice is on for another season.

Ok, that was a silly TV post. I'm done now.

To everyone that has left me a voicemail in the past few weeks that I never returned....

Sorry!!!

My little message icon stopped coming on! Stupid Verizon. I called them and told them that I wasn't getting alerted about my voicemails. I checked my voicemails, and i had 10 messages! Verizon says that I need to go into the voice mail system and switch my Message Waiting Indicator back to on. WHEN DID I SWITCH IT OFF!?

So, sorry! =)

busy, busy, busy week....

It's a bad sign when Alinna blogs more than I do! =)

Ok, O, I'll try to be better about it. Sometimes, i feel that blogging is just an outlet for me, but then I realize this is the only way that O has any idea what is going on in my life...anyhow..I'm babbling.

It's a really lonely day today. None of my close coworkers are here. It's just me all by my lonesome. It's very quiet which is nice.

So..work has been...interesting. I've been here for going on 2 years now. We moved offices last week. Everyone was hoping that it was going to be a welcome change. But alas, we moved into an identical building that runs parallel to the old building. My cubicle is in the same relative spot. So, in the end, I often forget that we've moved.

Again, digressing, having a hard time focusing today.

So, I've really started to forge friendships here at work. A bunch of us are starting to go out to lunch or drinks after work with relative frequency. It's weird, I spend the majority of my day with my coworker S. We have adjacent cubes (that don't have walls on one side) that open into one another. So, we have very little privacy. We have had some pretty severe personality clashes, but I've started to really see how God has been molding our frienship. She's not much older than I am, so that has allowed for a lot of chatting and hanging out. We've started to talk more about politics and religion. I think we've even come to look forward to talking to each other about personal stuff.

I've been really challenged by Alinna to really love S. just in the way Al is so intentional about loving those in her life that a difficult to love. I've been really encouraged to pray more for my coworkers, especially as I start to hang out with them more.

I walked away to go get some water, now I've lost my train of thought.

I'm just going through one of those "ugh, I don't like being a young adult" phases. It's okay. I will not wallow.

blah blah blah...who wants to listen to me blab anyways.

Hmm..so how do you find vision/purpose when you feel a bit directionless? You pray. But what do you do in the meantime? (not career-wise, but just passion-wise, ministry, etc.)

"Always remember that some friends were meant to be a part of your life for only a short period of time. Don't be afraid to let go of some friends, and don't feel the need to find replacements for them. Each new friend will bring something unique to them into your life." - 1 of many words of wisdom from Emily Chen to Bev.

College is a weird place. It's this warped alternate universe. Friendships in college are unlike the friends that you make anywhere else. When you're in school, you can see your friends whenever you please. You can freely disregard many things in order to spend time with your friends - sleep, studying, class. Friendships develop with relative ease and speed in school. The commonalities of being students, going to the same school, needing to struggle with finals, midterms, deadlines, and problem sets propel friendships forward at a remarkable pace. Having common activities, such as studying (or pretending to study), facilitates spending time with one another. The intensity of events and problems in college seems much greater than it was in high school and than it is after school. Your friends take the place of family while you're away at school.

But then, graduation comes. And everyone parts ways. And the sad thing about it all, is that everyone is optimistic that they will keep in touch. I know I naively thought that I could maintain some very close friendships after college. Some have continued to develop and grow stronger. But, there have been others that have slowly faded with the passing of time. Phone calls and dinner appointments become more rare.

I know there was one friend in particular whose friendship meant a lot to me. I spent significant levels of energy and effort in trying to maintain the friendship. After a while, it felt like when we talked, we had these awkward "update" conversations - we went through a list of, what could have easily been prescripted, questions. "How are you doing? How's work? How's family? Love interests?" It was like hearing an audio newsletter. It was not a conversation. Amd furthermore, it hardly resembled a friendship.

I don't think I've really accepted the fact that friendships may come and go. I was fortunate. When I came to Cal, almost all of my close friends in high school came too. Although we all were involved in different activities, different fellowships, different lifestyles, it was easy to maintain contact. But, now, I've seen friendships that meant so much to me in college fade into a distant memory. There have been times when I've tried to catch up with friends from school, and I realized that I no longer know them. I am no longer perceptive of thee struggles and the realities that they face daily. It seems so counterintuitive to me. How could something that was once so important to me, something that I poured so much of my heart into, no longer be a part of my life? Maybe it's not so much that this notion is unfathomable. But, I think my difficulty is that there is no distinct point in time when the friendship goes from being something in the present to something of the past. If we all just said a real "goodbye" to some of our friends after college, it wouldn't be so hard to understand.

I hate Sam. It's been a long time since I've written that. But that's not what I wanted to write about.

Sunday school today was awesome. Honestly. This was probably one of the first Sunday school classes I had been to in a long time. All the way through..from the "introduce yourself" question (What about nature amazes you..or something to that effect) to listening to Chris Rice's Hallelujahs. I was actually really sad that class had to end. I would've loved to talk more about the passage, to sing songs of worship, and to fellowship with the body.

So we talked about Psalm 8. So that this makes sense, here:

Psalm 8

The LORD'S Glory and Man's Dignity
For the choir director; on the Gittith. A Psalm of David.
1 O LORD, our Lord,
How majestic is Your name in all the earth,
Who have displayed Your splendor above the heavens!

2 From the mouth of infants and nursing babes You have established strength
Because of Your adversaries,
To make the enemy and the revengeful cease.

3 When I consider Your heavens, the work of Your fingers,
The moon and the stars, which You have ordained;

4 What is man that You take thought of him,
And the son of man that You care for him?

5 Yet You have made him a little lower than God,
And You crown him with glory and majesty!

6 You make him to rule over the works of Your hands;
You have put all things under his feet,

7 All sheep and oxen,
And also the beasts of the field,

8 The birds of the heavens and the fish of the sea,
Whatever passes through the paths of the seas.

9 O LORD, our Lord,
How majestic is Your name in all the earth!

It was such a great approach to the passage - to see the passage looked at from two different angles. We looked at it from the perspective of God and Man and then God and Nature. I was in the group that looked at God and Man. I'll just summarize things that I found really encouraging.

1. Looking at how man is described in verse 4, David describes man as being very, very, very small - almost insignificant when you compare man to the stars and the heavens. But then juxtaposed to verse 4, you have verse 5-6. Man is so insignificantly small in his own existence. But God has truly exalted us. He has crowned us with glory and entrusted His beautiful, perfect creation to US to rule over. Sometimes I marvel at why God would bestow something so amazing on fools like us. But, that's the great value that God sees in us, and that's grace.

2. We have been made a little lower than God. In Genesis, we read about being made in the image of God. Man was the only creature made in the image of God. He chose to make us different from all the other creatures. When God was looking for someone to help Adam, "a suitable helper could not be found" amid the amazing creatures of His creation. We are truly set apart. And He chose to love us.

3. What amazing power God must have. Verse 3: the heavens were made by God's fingers. Scientists will study space for centuries to come and yet still not be able to fully comprehend it. And, think about it..the heavens were almost like child's play to God - all he needed were His fingers. I think about creating something, like a house, that involves using your full body to lift and carry beams, strength to nail and hammer and saw. Can you imagine what God could do if you used that much strength and force? Well, that's the power at work in our lives.

I don't know if I necessarily learned anything new in my head. But, in my heart, I was reminded of so many of those fundamental things about God's character, about our identity, and about grace. This was the exact lesson I needed today. It's been a tough week.

Listening to Chris Rice's Hallelujahs at the end of class, I was staring out the window at the bustle of Chinatown, people crossing the street from shopping, a bunch of guys playing ball at Lincoln, and this one orange tree planted across the street. How beautiful life is, even urban life where nature is a bit hidden. The busyness, the bustle, it's all part of this beautiful dance if we can only step back to see our lives as just part of something far greater. Today, I was reminded of fixing our eyes upon Jesus, the Author and Perfector of our faith. Man, creation attests to the glory of God. How come I can become so blind to it and get so stuck looking at me and my insignificance?

My soul wells up with hallelujahs. :)