It's been really refreshing seeing Steve Childs these past few weeks. His presence has caused me to become nostalgic of my college years. I think I'm starting to become nostalgic. It's strange being back in Berkeley for an extended period of time. I've spent so much time at home and stuff, that being back, now, feels kind of different. I'm no longer a student. I hung out with some friends tonight who are my year but have another semester or year left. It was strange to hear them talk about school and how they had papers to write tonight.

I think I will miss my college years...But, I'm not gonna get all weepy on you now. I just want to reminisce. I want to enjoy my memories. I think I had the most fun (and drama..in a good way) sophomore and junior year. Hanging out with Steve made me remember the amazing brothers in Crusade. Dude, these guys honored the women like crazy; they honored us as sisters. It was so striking, because it made me (and others) want to honor them as men and as brothers. It's kind of cool how that works out. There was something so healthy about many of the friendships. The women were treated as women. The guys were very attentive to issues concerning safety, always eager to offer a walk home.

And it's funny, when one of the guys would do something that was "disappointing" in our eyes, many of the sisters (especially myself) would be eager to jump in and tell the guys how to be men. As if we knew!! Gee...I've been thinking about this a lot lately. It bothers me when a girl is treated as "one of the guys." Or when a guy is not allowed to be a man, to lead, to make decisions, etc because the women always jump in.

Woah, this suddenly wandered into a gender role shpeel. People like to give 5th Home girls a hard time for being feisty, independent, strong willed. On top of that, people give Crusade girls (at least the circle that I ran in) a hard time for being stubborn, sometimes pig-headed, and very determined. Ha. I'm both a 5th Home girl and a Crusade girl. Hmm..And so, in four years, I've learned a lot about what it means to allow the men in my life to act as men. How can I affirm that there role and their growth as men of God? I find, often, that we, as women, are eager to jump in and tell men how things should be down. But, I'm seeing how it's very emasculating. We negate men's roles as men. And then, we go and "demand" that they affirm us as women. PSHAW!! It totally doesn't work like that.

sn: when I say "we," I'm speaking in broad generalizations, but from my own experience. So, "we" could/should be "I."

hmm...once again, a thought that is not exactly fully fleshed out. But, I must sleep. Good night.