I left my umbrella in 103 Moffit last night after class. Stupid me. I had this nagging feeling that I had left it while I was walking to my car. When I realized this morning that I had lost it, I was pretty upset.

This was a nice umbrella. Black, Eddie Bauer, personal size umbrella with the push-button open and close. I paid good money for that umbrella too.

As I started walking down to the car from my apartment, I started to figure out my schedule to see if I had time to go to Eddie Bauer in Berkeley. I was kicking myself for having left it in class. And then it dawned on me: I do own other umbrellas. How had I become so attached to a $15 piece of metal and cloth? I was really shocked and saddened as I looked at my heart toward my posessions. Why was I so disappointed that I had lost it? Yes, whenever you lose something there is a sense of loss, but my reaction was stronger than it should have been.

How have I become a lover of such worldly things? Jessie and I have been reading Celebration of Discipline together. Last week, we talked about simplicity. Have these lessons been ringing ever so true in my life! While I was moving last December, I realized that I own way too much stuff, especially for a young adult who's still transitioning. What am I going to do with my stuff when I (hopefully) leave for grad school?

Richard Foster discusses 10 ways to simplify your life (in a material sense). He talks about not needing to own everything. I bought 4 movies last week - 2 on VHS for $5 each and 2 DVD's. Now, why can't I just rent movies when I want to watch them? Why this need to accumulate stuff? It adds clutter to my life. I'm going to go so far as to call this sin in my life. Because that's what it is. I might as well call it what it is, no? This is probably one of the most stealthy sins that has crept into my life. I can see how it's grown so slowly and quietly. There is definite value in entertainment, and we are to enjoy these things, but I've become attached to my stuff. If someone were to ask me if they could have something that belonged to me, how generous would my heart be?

Since I have started working and making a little bit of money, I have developed this very ungodly attitude. I'm not even sure where it came from, but now I see that it's definitely there. It's this idea that: "that which I buy with the money I make I have somehow earned. What I give to the church and missions is what belongs to God. Everything else is mine." HA! God, come and get me on that one!!

Lord, forgive my sinfulness. Remove this from me; cut it out of me. Change my heart that I would be a lover not of stuff, but of the things that are dear to You. Teach me to use my money in a way that brings You honor. Give me the strength to not indulge every appetite and desire I have. I praise You for Your transforming power in my life.

Sometimes I hate myself. I hate seeing what a sinner I am. Wretched man that I am! Who will set me free from the body of this death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord!