I love my parents.

I wonder what kind of parent I'm going to be. Well, this is all under the assumption that I will have children. I pray that I will have kids. What a blessing that would be! Yet, I'm really scared that I would mess up my kids. But, I guess, most people are afraid to mess up there kids. Maybe it's this fear that keeps people from actually messing up there kids.

The effect of culture on how parents interact with their kids is astounding. For many of my close friends and for me, our parents came to the United States from China or Taiwan in search of "the American Dream." One observation that a friend made (and I'm not trying to make broad, sweeping generalizations about Chinese families) is that our parents tend to not know quite how to express their pride, joy, etc. in us. Examples of this: In high school, I would show my parents my report cards. If I got A's, the response was not "Wow, great job, we're proud of you." The response was frequently, "Yes, you got A's. Did you eat yet?" If I got an A-, the response was "Why only an A-?" This is just an example of my interactions with my parents. I love my parents, but I'm starting to see how these interactions have shaped me into the way I am today.

I have no complaints as to how I was raised. I am eternally grateful to my parents for all the love and encouragement they've shown me. It's just taken me 20 years to be able to decipher the ways in which they show their pride and joy in me. I've realized that I had a misguided idea that my parents needed me to preform (in school, work, life) to please them. Now, I'm starting to see that this was never expected great accomplishments from me to warrant their love. They just had trouble communicating that they found great joy in me. Keith Zafren gave a message a few weeks ago about parenting. He mentioned how God makes a public declaration of His love for His Son in the statement, "This is my son in whom I am well pleased." Keith talked about how he is trying to love his two sons in this way. He wants to make sure that they know that he loves his children deeply. "These are his sons in whom he is well pleased." And I've come to see that my parents are well pleased with me (Well, sometimes..haha). They just don't communicate it as directly. But, they do communicate it.


I want to spend more time with the Tuma's and the Zafren's. It's so cool watching Dennis and Vivian Tuma teach, love, and discipline their children. Such a blessing. I've learned a lot of neat things about parenting from them. It's been neat to see what a Christian household looks like, since I didn't really grow up in one. Watching Dennis lead his wife and his kids. I've learned some really neat "tools" that many of these God-fearing parents use to turn their children to Christ. Dennis encourages his kids to always learn. He takes every opportunity to explain something to his kids. While playing in a pool, he will start explaining wave motion to his kids as they look as the rings that are made by drops of water. Keith Zafren sets aside his part of his children's birthdays as dad-son time. He asks them what they would like to do. And he will do that with them. His kids are 3 and 1 right now...But, I know other fathers who do this as well. If the daughter wants to go camping, father and daughter will go camping. They will go to baseball games, out to dinner, anything. Keith calls it "a way of buildling in my kids to affirm that we acknowledge that they have been fearfully and wonderfully made by the Father." Keith is buddies with Bill Hybel. Ever since Bill's daughters started attending school, Bill would have a dozen roses delivered to them at school on their birthdays. It was not only a private communication of his love for them, but a public statement to the rest of the school that they are precious.

And all these stories are just "things." I'm certain that their is far more wisdom and insight about parenting. Oh, how much I want to suck things up from all these Godly people. But, before I learn to love and serve my kids, I need to learn to love and serve a (as of now) non-existent husband. But, we'll talk about relationships another day...