So, I'm leaving for Paris in a few hours. People keep asking me if I'm excited. And strangely enough, I'm not very. It feels like we've been planning this trip forever, and so, I've had Paris on the brain for the past 2 months. I'm sure I'll be really excited when we get there. I can't wait to see Olivia and hear her stories.

I've started to realize the past few days that "I'm all grown up." Well, not totally, but for the most part. There are still years of wisdom and life experiences to be gained. But, I see now that I'm expected to act as an adult. My parents definitely expect that of me.

SN: I guess what set this whole train of thought off was that Karen, Jean, and I have had to plan the entirety of our vacations on our own. This is the first international trip I've gone on that wasn't with my family.

So, I'm expected to be a grown up now, at least when I'm at home. I see how much responsibility my parents have given me while I'm at home. As an adult, I'm expected to do a lot of stuff around the house. I don't have the luxury of bumming around like my sister does all day. Yet, these responsibilities are things I want to do because I know that they help my parents a lot.

But, part of me still wants to be a kid. I think that's why every now and then, I'll go back to Berkeley and hide out. In Berkeley, I'm responsible to no one but myself. I can do as I please, stay out to all hours of the night, eat or not eat. It's ironic that I act most like a child when I have total freedom, and I can be most like an adult when I'm at home. Maybe there's something to be said about having connections to people. When I'm at home, I see how my actions have large effects and consequences. Because of this, I am more inclined to be responsible.

I have a friend who's mom has said that she's not allowed to shop at Aeropostale, Abercrombie, or junior departments anymore. She wants my friend to dress "older." When my friend told me this, we were walking through Macy's and I was wearing a shirt that made me look like I was 12. I still like being a kid, romping around in overalls. And sometimes, I like being "a grown-up." SN: it was weird that Pastor Jerry referred to Belinda, Kathy, and myself as "adults" during youth worship last week.

Like other things in life, this issue is not so black and white. It's not like one day you're a kid and one day you're an adult. And when you're an adult, you can still act like a kid...it will definitely amuse your future spouse. There's no need to be something that you're not. Hmm..that was a profound, yet empty statement. Ironic. I'm not articulating myself very well...so i'll stop on this thought.

Changing subjects..
I wanted to share a few prayer requests as we head off to Paris. (yes, we're going on vacation...but still...)
- For physical safety on our flights there and back and while in Paris.
- For real times of fellowship with "the girls." Please pray that we would be patient and loving, that we would be discerning of our own boundaries and limits and be able to be honest.(you know how it can be with a bunch of girls in close quarters for an extended period of time).
- For Karen and myself who are both sick. bleh...for healing and that we would be excited that God has blessed us with another day, even though we're not in perfect health.

Thank you, my dear readers. (Why you read this, I'm not sure)...maybe I'll update in Paris!