In the past two weeks, I have come to see how small I am. My life is just one of billions; and then there's the rest of God's creation. Yet, the God who created the heavens is the very same God who knows every hair on my head.

I was driving back to Berkeley the night that my grandfather passed away. I was on 280N coming from Stanford toward the San Mateo Bridge. There's this random body of water out by the 280/92 interchange. And then there's these beautiful mountains. There was a full moon out, and the fog was rolling over the mountains down toward the water. I looked up at the stars, and I was thinking about how my grandfather was now sitting before God. And I was totally and utterly in awe of God. How could the God who created every complex detail of the human body be the God who sees me right now? Not only does He see me, but He is full of compassion and love for me in this very instant.

I've pretty much immersed myself in the events of the world in the past few days. We don't have much to do at work because our jobs depend on FedEx shipments which haven't been coming in. Such craziness in our world. Honestly, I'm tired of talking about it. At least for now. I'm still totally interested in reading and hearing what's going on. Still waiting to hear from my friend.

And, so, life must continue. I find that I'd rather stop doing anything and just sit and read and watch TV all day. But, the little dramas and things in my life are still calling for my attention. Yes, in light of the the events of the week, drama with friends seems so miniscule. Yet, they are real, and they are still happening.

I'm emotionally overloaded, a bit raw. I think I've shut down. But, again, God reminds me, that it's not about me. I am small, but He cares deeply.